weekly journal three.

So, this is it. The last day of PBandJterm (or to be more profound, Creating and Managing Your Online Personal Brand) has arrived, and I must admit that it is bittersweet. Who would think that I would actually enjoy being at school for an extra three weeks? It’s a weird thought, I’m aware. I’ve already gone on and on about how much I enjoyed week one and week two. Now it’s time to talk about what was so great about week three.

This week got off to a great start. Derek Mabie (follow him on Twitter) came to class on Monday to talk to us about SEO.
“SEO? Heather what in the world is that?”
Oh, I’m glad you asked. SEO: Search Engine Optimization. Basically, it’s all about what you can do to get your name, company, whatever to the top of the list when there’s a Google search (or as Derek liked to call it, searching on the “Goog”). Before Monday, I had heard the term “SEO” but I did not have a clue in the world what it was. Derek was the perfect person to inform the class about it. He owns a company called Evolve Digital Labs (check them out). His company helps other companies to have a greater SEO. While he was talking I began to wonder how people learned about this kind of stuff. I have never heard of a “Principles in SEO” class or a “Bachelors in Search Engine Optimization.” This draws to an excellent conclusion though. There are companies who are looking for people to work for them and have knowledge of SEO. Having a solid, accurate knowledge about SEO seems to be a rare thing. Which means, if you know SEO, you shouldn’t have a hard time finding a job. To learn more about this, Derek Mabie provides a SEO Guide for Beginners for free on his website. There are some others online as well. This is one of those things where you just have to step out, learn, and explore. Derek really encourages students to look into it and try to learn more about how it works.

So, that was all on Monday. Then Wednesday came and we had more guest presenters (week of the speakers, right?). Two girls who began a blog called City In A Jar, Jessica (Twitter) and Maddie (Twitter), came in to talk about pursuing your ideas. These ladies met last year at a networking event and have been friends ever since. Their blog covers an array of topics such as fashion, food, exercise, adventures, and everything else to do in the city.
“So it’s a blog. What’s the big deal Heather?”
The big deal? Their blog is incredible. You want to know how good it is? They were just nominated for Best Personal Blog by the Riverfront Times. These girls have talent and have a passion, and they are pursuing it.

Mike Zandstra (Twitter) followed these lovely ladies’ presentation by informing the class on WordPress. You know how your blog address says “name.wordpress.com?” He explained what you can do to change it and why that’s such a great idea. I definitely plan on doing it once I get some free time on my hands. You can check out his presentation and learn more about how to go about switching your WordPress on his slideshare.

So there’s a wrap up of the final week.
I mean yeah, we had to write a few blog posts too, but this is the summary of the actual class events. I must admit, I’m going to miss my good ole’ PBandJterm classmates. Hopefully I’ll have classes with some of them next semester. Until then, see you later yal!

relationships, hypothetically speaking

There are so many messed up dating situations out there. As the years pass, the value and quality of relationships continue to go downhill. Let’s be honest, the world does not do a great job at portraying what a relationship is really supposed to be like. What if things were different than they are? Let’s get hypothetical here for a moment.

|what if people stopped rushing?|
“Oh my gosh I’m 18 and never dated anyone!” “Oh no, I’m 25 and not married!” Chill out! So many people are in a rush to get into a relationship. I don’t remember ever hearing of a rule book that states an age where you have to be in a relationship or married by. Everyone finds their “one” at different times in their life. Don’t try to rush it, or else you could ruin something that could’ve been good, or overlook something good that’s right in front of you.

|what if guys stepped it up and held the leadership position they are meant to have?|
I cannot begin to explain the multitude of relationships I have either witnessed or been a part of where the guy just doesn’t lead. He almost treats dating as a game. Gentlemen (and ladies if you would like), check out my friend Matt Swaringim’s blog. Leadership in relationships is this guy’s niche, and he knows what he’s talking about.

|what if girls stopped looking to guys to discover their self worth?|
It breaks my heart to see so many young ladies living as victims to insecurity. There are girls out there who are longing for male attention to make them feel better about themselves. Ladies need to realize that no guy determines their value or beauty. It’s time for girls to start loving themselves and grow in confidence. I highly recommend that every girl out there follows a lady named Kimberly Jones on Twitter (@RealTalkKim).

|what if people dated to “get to know” instead of to “get some?”|
The reasons for dating someone need to be evaluated. If you don’t see yourself spending the rest of your life with someone, what are you doing with them? Relationships are not a game. Take them seriously.

|what if people actually waited?|
Crazy thought: What if you didn’t sleep around? What if people took sexual purity seriously and didn’t have sex with every person they date? Crazier thought: What if people began to wait for their husband or wife? Think of all the regrets, hurt, and heartbreak that would be nonexistent!

|what if honesty was included?|
Too many people are trying to hide their past. I understand that the past is the past, but sometimes you just have to be upfront with the person you care about. Keeping things in the dark will never bring light to your relationship. The past is obviously not the only thing to be honest about. Make sure there is nothing hidden from your significant other. If you can’t be honest with them, then they aren’t the one for you.

|the challenge|
My challenge to you is this: Do not let the world tell you how to or how to not live your life. Have standards for your relationships.

love & lust |my mini rant|

I am sure everyone has heard someone say “It was love at first sight!” I’m sorry, what?! You mean to tell me that from the moment that you saw that “special someone” you were literally immediately in love with them? How is that possible? Now you have to understand, I’m not talking about a mother who just had a baby and says this. I’m talking about couples who claim that instead of falling in love, they were hit with it the moment they laid eyes on each other. Every single time I have heard someone say this I cannot help but laugh.

|what’s love again?|
Love. Let’s talk about this. I’ve already written on what love truly is (little four letter word). But perhaps I need to elaborate on how it works. Love isn’t instant. It’s a process. How can you say you love someone when you don’t know anything about them? You don’t know their strengths, their weaknesses, their goals, their passions, or even their favorite food! You may like the way a person looks, but you cannot say you truly love them when you only know little about them, if anything at all. Unless you can tell a person’s character and life story from just one look, then you cannot claim to love them at first sight.

|so what is this feeling?|
Love is when you get to know a person, when you learn their character traits, their strengths and weaknesses, their zeal, and you love and accept all of them. Love is a deep affection for someone whom you cannot imagine life without. But, love doesn’t stop there. It’s not merely a feeling. Love is an action. It’s putting someone else before yourself. It’s being willing to put your life on the line for another person. Love is doing all that is in your power to let someone know that you truly care for them. Love is a process, so what is this “at first sight” stuff all about?

|lust lust lust|
Allow me to introduce you to a little thing called lust. Let’s say you see a guy, see a girl, and instantly you want to know them in a different way. You want to be with them. Love at first sight, right? Yeah right. Welcome to the feeling of lust my friends. Lust is a passionate desire for something/someone. Some would simply label it as a strong sexual desire (dictionary).

|so what’s the big deal?|
Lust is so far from love. Because of this, it is something that must be controlled. Do not give in to lustful desires (1 John 2:16; Colossians 3:5). If you are really interested in someone, then get to know them and see if something grows from it. But don’t try to rush things because of a desire. It won’t end well. Lust will not lead you to happiness.

|the challenge|
My challenge to you is this: Make sure you know someone before making love claims. Do not ever give in to any lustful desire. You are stronger than that.

Now, enough of my ranting. Time for a video!

weekly journal #2

The first week of my J-term class was a success. I learned a lot and honestly was not sure how much there was to learn. But, do not fret, week number two of PBandJterm did not fail to disappoint. Just like the first week, I  learned so much about personal brand. The two parts of the week that I took the most away from was when Nick Gilham came to speak and when the class gave presentations.

Nick Gilham is a social media expert who founded A Branded You. It is his job to assist companies in getting their name out there through social media and to get connected with others. Mr Gilham came to speak last week to inform us on how to take full advantage of Linked In. At the beginning of the week we were required to set up a Linked In page, and Mr Gilham showed us how to take it to another level. For those who are unfamiliar with this website, it is basically an online resume. You can post information about your education, experience, skills, and objective. You can also connect and network with people you know. This can help you in the career world because employers can search Linked In for people who are experienced for the available position. You can connect with me through Linked In by going to My Profile.

check out the prezi I created about "my niche"

My absolute favorite part of the week was the class presentations given on Thursday. Our assignment was this: discover your niche and create a blog about it. Who doesn’t love an opportunity to talk and write about something you are truly passionate about? It was great to discover the things that interest the people who I have been spending the past couple weeks with. The blogs that I am most excited about are Hannah Victor’s fashion blog, Ashley Bynum’s blog on encouragement and staying positive, and Matt Swaringim’s blog on leadership & relationships. The niche that I chose was relationships, hence the two posts I have written before this one. I am really looking forward to writing on this topic. I really enjoyed getting so much feedback from my posts Little Four Letter Word and Relationship Junkie, and it has encouraged me to continue in what I’m doing.

It’s hard to believe that two weeks have passed and the final week of J-term is now approaching. I have met some incredible people and I believe I have really grown in my knowledge of social media and my personal brand. If I had not taken this class and was not given the challenge of writing on something that I am passionate about, I may have never stepped out and began writing on relationships, which is something that I definitely plan on keeping up with. To wrap up, I am very glad that I chose to enroll in this class. It has taught me a lot and helped me to branch out a little more. I’m excited for the last week and what it holds.

relationship junkies.

It seems that some people are just never single. You know, that person who gets out of a relationship then three weeks later has already found someone else. They are always in some kind of relationship with someone. I like to call these people “relationship junkies.” What causes people to act this way though? What makes a relationship a “necessity” for them? As someone who’s been there, the answer is quite clear.

|the root of the junkie|
When a person feels the need to always be in a relationship, when someone cannot stand to be single, the primary reason is insecurity. A co-worker of mine, who I will call “Amy,” admitted to me that she would rather be miserable in a relationship than be single. She explained that she desired to always feel needed by someone. Amy even went so far to state that she would date a guy even if she knew it would never go anywhere. She would let him fill her “void” until someone new, or better in her opinion, came along.

Everyone likes to feel needed, but is bouncing from relationship to relationship the right way to fulfill this impulse? I don’t think there is anyone who does not have some kind of insecurity. You will never overcome that insecurity if you continue in an attempt to cover it up and pretend it’s not there. No guy or girl in the world can make it go away; it starts and ends with you.

|what’s the big deal?|
There are people who would argue that there is no problem with being in a multitude of relationships. It’s all “fun and games.” Right….I don’t think so. There are two main problems with the relationship junkie lifestyle. First off, you are setting yourself up for a lot of heartbreak and no time to cope with it. I have met people who have been in two year relationships then a week after it has ended they are already pursuing someone else. I understand that no one wants to focus on or think about the gloominess that can follow a break up, but jumping to a new person is not a healthy distraction. If you come to someone with a broken heart expecting them to mend it, don’t expect that relationship to last long. Take the time to heal and get your mind clear. Secondly, if you are going from guy to guy, girl to girl, whatever, where are your standards? What are your judgements? Living a life without standards will set you up for a lot of failed relationships and regrets, and it will never lead you to the person you are truly supposed to be with.

|rules to live by|
Rule #1 – Learn to say no.
Despite somewhat popular belief, you do not have to say “yes” to every person who asks you out. You have to be honest with both yourself and the other person. Do not rush to be in a relationship.

Rule #2 – Don’t base your value off of your relationship status.
This tends to apply more to ladies than it does to guys. Ladies: You are beautiful. You can have guys tell you that left and right but it will never be enough if you do not believe it yourself. Stop looking down on yourself or despising the way you look. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-16).

Rule #3 – Set standards and stick to them.
Solid standards will lead you to a solid relationship.
Boundaries are vital. Never settle. Never.

Rule #4 – Don’t jump in the water if you don’t know how to swim.
Ladies: Have your self-esteem in check before you get into a serious dating relationship. No guy wants a girl who constantly puts herself down.
Guys: Do not get into a relationship if you aren’t ready to properly lead. You have to step it up.

|the challenge|
My challenge to you is this: Do not be overpowered by your insecurities. Take relationships seriously. Never fall into the unhealthy lifestyle of the relationship junkie. You deserve better than that.

little four letter word.

There is one word that can turn someones day around. One word that could change things completely. This one four letter word has so much power in it. Well, at least it used to. Now, the meaning of love has began to dwindle away. It’s used so often in so many wrong ways that now it’s just another average word. “I love you” is a phrase that is thrown around far too often. What does it even mean anymore?

|the poorly portrayed picture|
About a month ago I was at a family party. My fifteen year old cousin came in and mentioned that he had a girlfriend now. When I asked what she was like, his response was “blonde and hot.” One of my other cousins jokingly asked him, “Are you in love?” My jaw about hit the floor when he said yes. He is fifteen, they had been dating for two weeks at the time, and he could not tell me anything about her other than the fact that she is supposedly “blonde” and “hot.” I asked how he knew he loved her, and he just gave me a blank stare then responded, “I don’t know. It’s what you’re supposed to say when you’re in a relationship, right?” (Wrong). Sadly, I cannot really lecture my cousin for thinking this way (even though I tried to), because this is the picture that society has painted for him. All of a sudden just having an “in a relationship” status qualifies two people to be in love with each other.

A fellow colleague of mine, whom I will call “Tom”, is a professional relationship junkie. It seems that he is never single; he always has a “significant other.” Back around September, Tom began dating this young lady. He said he loved her. She said she loved him. They both had the cute lovey dovey online comments about each other and took a million pictures. Everyone’s happy, right? Well, apparently not. They broke up in November and were both in a different relationship two weeks later. What happened to the “love?”

Is this really what society has come to? Are there no standards set to determine when two people are “in love” other than just having a “relationship” title? If so, then I don’t ever want a person to tell me “I love you.” If it’s been said to a multitude of other people from other relationships, what makes it so special? We have such a twisted view of what love truly is.

|the real deal|
This leads to the question: what is love? Not what is the messed up society definition of love, but what is the true, deep value that this word was meant to have? Dictionaries have multiple definitions, but I choose to define the pure meaning of love from a passage in the Bible.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails |1 Corinthians 13:4-8a|

Some people overlook this as “just another Bible verse.” But when you break it down, this passage paints the perfect picture of what love is. Here is a way of looking at it:

Love is when you are understanding. You are not too proud to admit that it is not all about yourself. You put the other person first, never doing anything for your own personal gain. You do not hold grudges with each other. You never raise your hand in anger or frustration. You give your full support and always keep the others best interest at heart. There is no room for jealousy because the trust is so strong. When times are rough, you find hope in knowing you have each other. Finally, nothing, absolutely nothing, can ever tear you apart. There is nothing too big that you cannot get through together.

If people would just begin to think of love in this way. If love could become a word that had a true, tangible meaning behind it, not just a word to get what you want from someone. If society could learn how precious the phrase “I love you is”, how powerful the word “love” itself is, then we would see a drastic change in the world.

|the challenge|
My challenge to you is this: watch what you say and say what you mean. Do not conform to the worldly interpretation of love, but instead discover the strength that true love really holds.

|p.s.|
Those of you who know Matt Swaringim (or those of you who don’t) might enjoy this. (: